shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
