Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize