I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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