I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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