Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Girl's gotta have her standards.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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(817): View more from Texas

I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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(937): View more from Ohio

She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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(407): View more from Florida

Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

(1-407): View more from Florida

Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

(407): View more from Florida

Bro? You just made it a target.

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(909): View more from California

When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.

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