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• (315): View more from New York

  So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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• (310): View more from California

  so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

  (818): View more from California

  by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.

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