Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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  (773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3
  Replies (20) Good night (744) Bad night (1987)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea

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  (720): Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea http://tfl.nu/2bz5
  Replies (9) Good night (2135) Bad night (563)
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  (760): View more from California

  Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?

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  (760): Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match? http://tfl.nu/fgta
  Replies (24) Good night (920) Bad night (4609)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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  (816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs. http://tfl.nu/qooi
  Replies (24) Good night (4725) Bad night (926)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Too much gin, very little bucket

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  (703): Too much gin, very little bucket http://tfl.nu/etvy
  Replies (14) Good night (993) Bad night (3798)
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  (646): View more from New York

  So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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  (646): So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex. http://tfl.nu/jc5g
  Replies (8) Good night (5953) Bad night (1068)
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  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5885) Bad night (1276)
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  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5656) Bad night (942)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.

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  (812): I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy. http://tfl.nu/z5fr
  Replies (13) Good night (2897) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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  (831): YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL. http://tfl.nu/sk5h
  Replies (21) Good night (1781) Bad night (752)
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  (916): View more from California

  Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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  (916): Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities. http://tfl.nu/3rzs
  Replies (4) Good night (1510) Bad night (504)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1379) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.

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  (605): I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk. http://tfl.nu/q1g3
  Replies (4) Good night (650) Bad night (398)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

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  (860): I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon http://tfl.nu/xq47
  Replies (3) Good night (327) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore

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  (505): Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore http://tfl.nu/mshh
  Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (381)

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