brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.