Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.