it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work