Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

(401): View more from Rhode Island

...this stays between you and me

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(508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear (401): ...this stays between you and me http://tfl.nu/qjou

Replies (6) Good night (1046) Bad night (2138)
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(970): View more from Colorado

You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.

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(970): You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip. http://tfl.nu/rzap

Replies (3) Good night (2835) Bad night (633)
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(830): View more from Texas

just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao

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(830): just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao http://tfl.nu/019w

Replies (17) Good night (3999) Bad night (1096)
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(949): View more from California

I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

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(949): I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/xcpk

Replies (46) Good night (1169) Bad night (9677)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

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(519): I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid. http://tfl.nu/7asr

Replies (12) Good night (4573) Bad night (1627)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.

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(802): You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises. http://tfl.nu/vxkf

Replies (33) Good night (2236) Bad night (5096)
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(410): View more from Maryland

it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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(410): it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral http://tfl.nu/q6za

Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (2345)
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(813): View more from Florida

Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.

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(813): Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point. http://tfl.nu/ezlw

Replies (14) Good night (2448) Bad night (1077)
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(847): View more from Illinois

That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.

(847): View more from Illinois

You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.

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(847): That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy. (847): You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth. http://tfl.nu/gv40

Replies (12) Good night (1950) Bad night (626)
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(678): View more from Georgia

When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

(678): View more from Georgia

C smoking isn't all bad

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(678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda

Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (857)
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(716): View more from New York

I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day

(1-716): View more from New York

Eh. They balance each other out

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(716): I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day (1-716): Eh. They balance each other out http://tfl.nu/9dcn

Replies (6) Good night (998) Bad night (469)
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(360): View more from Washington

It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.

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(360): It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls. http://tfl.nu/eao3

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (707)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT

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(404): Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT http://tfl.nu/tfsq

Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (569)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.

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(508): Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER. http://tfl.nu/dcuo

Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (360)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.

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(773): Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/87vg

Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (656)

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