There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
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we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.