margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life