I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize