My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
