So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
