I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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