some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
