so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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