is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize