..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
