If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
