You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
