wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
