piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
