did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
