its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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