Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found puke in my bra..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
