Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
