i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
the raccoons are back...
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