Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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