apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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