how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
