In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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