Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
