I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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