Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So vagazzling was a success
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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