I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Jerry, you need to find god
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize