he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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