Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize