Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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