Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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