Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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