Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize