3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize