on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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