More tranny stories later!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
