I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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