I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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