I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
