Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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