His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Can't talk, ducks in the car
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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