Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
