Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
