Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize