how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
