You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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