WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
