Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
