Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize