Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're a waste of cheezeits
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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