id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
