she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
