wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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