No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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