when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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