Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
