sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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