What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
