So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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