So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
